Grief...

Although I promised myself not to write about this, but I couldn't help it. My blog is my inner space, I know that a lot of people will not understand what is the meaning of (losing a pet), especially if that pet you rise it, you took care of it, you treat it like a child not a pet, for 10 years, Imagen in one day you have a phone call to tell you: "your pet is dead", you ask them to clarify again and make sure about whom they are talking, and they tell you again: " your pet is dead".

I tried to be patient, I tried to count to calm myself, I prayed, I remind myself of a lot of what Allah said about people who are patient. I hold myself for moments, but at the end, I got serious breakdown, in front of everyone. I HATE the look of sympathy, DON'T SHOW ME THAT FACE, DON'T TXT ME, DON'T CRY WITH ME. However, I got her, hugged her dead between my arms, for minutes, my tears washed her fure, I swear I felt her heart is beating, but I guess it was only my heart which was ready to pump out of my chest from the sarro.

Every corner, every chair, I mean every where reminds me of her. I know you might get shocked to know that, but before long period of time I used to ask Allah in my prayer (if I end up in Paradise, then please let her be with me). And now, my pet is dead. All what I can say that really with all the grief in my shattered heart, I will always pray to Allah to grantee my wish, to see her again with a lot of fluffy children, In the same time, I promised myself not to get any pet ever in my life again, I can't have my heart break more than it is already.

I got a nice paragraph about grief, I copied it from other website, saying:
We do not grieve for all lost relationships; instead, we grieve only for those that have become important to us over time. These can be relationships with people that we have strong connections to, such as family members, spouses, significant others, and friends; places we feel attached to, such as the house we grew up in or our hometown; or things that are important to us, such as love letters, a watch that a grandparent gave us, etc. We may have loved or hated that person, place, or thing, but we feel grief when they (or it) are gon...

True, only things we are attache to and have strong connection to. May Allah help me to get over it. To all my friends, and people who really cares about me, Understand my feelings, don't push yourself to confort me, I'm fine, But I need time to be alone (please).

~HearBreak~