I'm currently stressed because of my work, a lot of things should be done, and I complain a lot in front of my colleagues and friends, I know I should cut this already! .. They are also busy and have their own working issues! .. but I just can't stop. The thing is that I started to feel lost in my work! before I was so tidy and neat, and I know I'm better than a lot of people (who are now better than me). Now let me say things I hate about myself at work:
1- A lot of friends stops to say Hi, and I just love the way they care about me, but the thing is that I take a lot of time from them as they do from me, and unfortunately some of them does not understand that when I'm busy that does not mean I'm mad at you! .. Sometimes I need to focus!
2- I used to scan all papers and keep scanned copy in my drive so when I need papers I don't run to look for them between thousand files! .. lately I didn't have the time to do so! and I feel just lost!
3- My manager trust me a lot that I will finish tasks better than other employees, so he just LOAD me with a lot of tasks with total faith that I will achieve them. I like this trust and I'm so proud of it, but lately I'm overloaded that I work a little on each task but I never finish! .. and I just don't give my tasks to my colleagues as I feel shy from them! at the same time I feel that I'm not a good employee if I just can't handle my tasks! ..
4- Some employees feel jealous about the way my manager treats me, and when I say this I mean when he trust me with TASKS! .. *strange?* .. I just hear their words and I shut my mouth, because Seriously I'm loaded with tasks already, so if they wish to have those tasks! be my guest? and when I offer them the tasks they just say (Oh no! ... We are busy already) .. So you just wanna talk? ..
5- I hate the fact that I go late at work lately! ... I used to be at work around 7:00 - 7:15, and now add one more hour to that! ... I wish I can be at work at 6:30 to finish my tasks in a total quiet environment! ..
6- I can't work at work! yes I said it! .. a lot of (Social) gathering, you know! girls! and I just admit that I like those gatherings and funny chats! .. I wish I can focus more in my working hours not after that! ..
7- I'm in a workstation! with 3 nice ladies. But I know myself I work best when I'm alone! ... can I have my own teeny tiny office? ... with a nice window and view? ...
Away from my negative bla bla bla about myself, I had a nice chat with my Manager Mr.A, I was chatting with him about a project and then I told him that I might continue studying my DBA (Doctorate of Business Administrations), he said a lot of nice things to me, and he boost my energy and make me feel satisfied (even if I know those are only words!) .. The way he trust me make me feel little more stressed because I don't want to bring him down .. at all! ..
Tomorrow is a busy day for me! .. a lot of things to finish ... and a lot of things to discuss before next week! .. I hope .. I can gather myself .. and be good! ...
Time: 6:43 PM
Date: 6 Dec 2011
Subject: Taking words out of my chest~